A story by Rev Judy L Braun from 2020-21
Chaplain Judy and her dog. Photo was used as a badge so patients would know who was behind the mandatory mask.
Pandemic Chaplaincy - Alfred, Maine
End of life review is a common thing for a hospice Chaplain to hear. I've heard many stories. One of my favorites is the story of a lady named Mary who was 100 years old when I became acquainted with her. Mary did not flaunt her faith; however, her beliefs guided her life.
A picture of Jesus with crystal blue eyes graced Mary’s dresser. When I came to visit, she would be seated at her kitchen table, fully dressed in casual attire, with make-up and earrings on, and often reading the daily newspaper. She had mostly eaten her daily breakfast of coffee, one slice of toast and a soft-boiled egg. Soon we would be engaged in a meaningful conversation. The story I cherish the most was one Mary recounted about her visit to Germany to see her son who lived there. This visit took place when she was in her late seventies, or early eighties. Mary's son informed her that they had been invited to dinner with a former German military officer and his wife at their home.
Being adventurous she of course responded "yes." She did not reveal her trepidation about meeting a military officer who had been "on the other side" during WWII; she suspected this couple had their own perceptions of an American. The dinner was wonderful with drinks, good food, and rich conversation. At some point she noticed a statue of Mother Mary standing in a corner of the room. Mary also had a statue of Mother Mary in her home. She knew then that ALL of them were suitable in their human living, because they were guided and bound together by an almost identical understanding.
Mary died in the early weeks of the pandemic, just a few weeks shy of her 103rd birthday.
Since 2016, I worked for Northern Light Home Health and Hospice (NLH) as Chaplain. Upon admission, patients can elect the services of a Chaplain, or not; approximately 30% of the overall census choose to have those services. People who have had an active faith life often want prayer included in their visit.
Patients in hospice often want to review their life with me, basically a stranger, who has not participated in their story until they are admitted to hospice. In March 2020, as an unknown virus spread rapidly across the world, all Chaplain visits were curtailed. We were instructed to make calls and send cards. Listening is a Chaplain’s primary tool. It was a challenge structuring an end-of-life relationship just with the voice in my ear or words on paper, no body language, no eye contact. I adapted to this better than I initially thought, helped by the fact that I already had a relationship with most of the patients. They were confined to their homes or to their rooms in facilities. If in a facility, no family was allowed to visit, no socialization, and meals had to be eaten in their rooms alone with a plate of food.
I have worked in the medical field for over 40 years. Pandemic was always part of the yearly computer training to keep us up to speed on what to do in case there was a Pandemic. PANDEMIC now took on voice and flesh as NLH struggled to implement all the safety measures. We all rapidly became acquainted with ZOOM meetings! We were updated daily with changing guidelines, equipment availability and general support from each other for what was changing our personal and professional lives by the moment. The lack of Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) was at the forefront of just about every meeting. Nurses were able to visit patients on a limited basis and with strict PPE body covering. It was not hard for me to switch to cards and calls as that has been part of my general ministry in life anyway. I am an artist so painting cards just gave me opportunity to craft more paintings.
The unexpected came when our Hospice Director thought it a good idea for the hospice division Chaplains to provide a morning spiritual reflection to begin the day. I learned quickly that there were five other Chaplains in addition to the two in our office. I volunteered to organize us. We provided spiritual support for the entire Health organization daily through June. Then we scaled back the daily reflection service to once a week until in the fall of 2020 when the numbers of participants dwindled and we stopped.
Preparation of these reflections gave me time to ponder the wider scope of what was happening in the world and bring some wisdom to bear for the overburdened healthcare workers in Northern Light Health. I believe we did that.
As the pandemic wore on through 2020, I witnessed patients already at end of life become more and more disconnected as they were quarantined in their homes or in facilities. A profound example is Bev, a lady with whom I had developed a sincere faith-based relationship over the three years of our acquaintance. Bev died two weeks after the shutdown started. Her family and I believe that the thought of no visitors and minimal nursing care was more than she could carry and finally succumbed to her Maker. Pandemic guidelines regarding the number of people gathering in groups prevented a graveside service for six months, until September 2020. I officiated at her graveside service with proper masking and distancing of family and friends. She would have been pleased with the attendance.
By the spring of 2021 all the patients with whom I had developed personal relationships had passed. Developing new relationships with cards and calls became challenging. I also discovered that I liked staying at home. This brought me to the decision to retire for the second time. I left the best job I ever had in July 2021.
I would like to share a selection from one of my morning reflections. It has value yet in 2021 as this pandemic has changed so much of how we live:
"It’s 2:00 a.m. and you WAKE slightly. The next thing you know, your mind is running rampant through old scenarios! What comes to mind are the words of a Billy Joel song, "River of Dreams."
"In the middle of the night
I go walking in my sleep
From the mountains of faith
To a river so deep
I must be looking for something
Something sacred I lost
But the river is wide
And it's too hard to cross"
And even though I know the river is wide
I walk down every evening and I stand on the shore
And try to cross to the opposite side
So I can finally find out what I've been looking for”
Muslims put emphasis on two of the 99 names of God praying, “in the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful”
Jews pray the holy Shema, “Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One”
Christians pray, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.”
"Bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Raheem."
"Sh’ma, Yisrael, Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Ehad."
"Kyrie Iesou Christe, eleison me."
Amid our longing for unity as this pandemic drags on, reciting those prayers reminds me that I am connected to humanity. During sleepless nights of worry, uttering these words connects us to someone around the world, someone who is also praying for compassion.
